The more I reflect on life the more I come to realize that being submerged in the presence of God is my greatest desire. Not to be absorbed and loose myself but to be submerged and completely encompassed by the one who created me. To drown in his presence. To know Him as She is. To die to myself and live for Christ with my entire being.
There was a time when I strove for position, title, prominence and honor of the pastorate. Much of my early adulthood was devoted to God and Serving Him. My training for the pastorate, being a youth pastor, serving the church with all I had and then returning to seminary – All Dross. God mercifully provided me a wife who indulged the sacrifices we made to serve God.
Over time I came to realize that I was serving myself by serving God. A very subtle and insipid self-deception had slowly crept into my life. My devotion to serving God had become an idol in my life. We cannot serve two masters.
Now I devote my life to God alone. I’ve learned to be abased and to abound. I’m content wherever God decides to place me in life. I still serve Christ, but only out of a deep love for him. I rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to guide and keep me on the path of peace.
I’m a visionary who has prayed and sought God for years. I’ve grasped the Vision God presented me and longed to see it come to pass. Within the past six years I have learned to continually let go of the Vision trusting that God will fulfill all that She has shown. Like Abraham, I had to sacrifice the Vision to see God.